An Epistemology of the Queer, Garden and Goats

This post relays my adventures of my second time in Chicago Land, volunteering at a WWOOF homestead, goat farm exploring queerness and circular economies, and relationships in reciprocity.

(since I can't add pictures without paying extra here's my google folder of pics to watch along with the reading: https://photos.app.goo.gl/rxXUpqH7gExizWiV9)

I came with the intention of studying circular systems and time banks, and completing some of my scholarly writing. I had already volunteered at this Chicago goat farm 2 years ago.  (link in previous blog post), and was eager to reconnect with the host and 'talk dirt' and medicinal plants in the morning dew.

The same friendly goats are all grown up! and the garden beds that we worked on are producing wonderful crops. Everyday is a new opportunity to learn a new plant species and its uses or growth habits, like tick-weed that has consumed the backyard and needs to be removed so the planted basil can take over, or the serviceberry, quince, big-leaf aster. I see smell and touch the connections between the soil and the mycelium substrate added in, the health of the worms below each weed removed. Ecosystem restoration on this land that once an apartment building in suburban Chicagoland.

The lessons from the semester’s Arid Lands course seem distant yet applicable as barren soil becomes crumbly and dry. I read and close more tabs that I left open in the end-of-semester hurry… papers relating to trees, desertification and soil health maintenance feeling the lessons integrate with the contrasting garden experiences. Where in10 am drizzles and afternoon thunderstorms transplants take easily, and organic material can be sustainably packaged into bags for decomposition. The memories of struggling with hydrophobic soil and heat-stressed plants in El Paso seems laughable.

Returning to a place that I have stewarded and cared for is a great theme, seeing the things that stay the same (insert song), and things that have grown up, or adapted to better ways. One of the greatest joys was seeing that the system that we implemented back then (2 years ago), where weeds and organic materials are not tossed in plastic bags and tossed away, but rather are sustainably put into the polyester jute coffee bags throughout the garden and stored away for slow decomposition to become brown material in the next garden beds. Everything can cycle back in when you have an awareness of sustainability and bringing this forth was worthwhile. To build new raised beds, or hugelculture it is then opportune to add mycelium leftovers from the mushroom grow bags layer on carboard and manure from the goats.. We were able to finish building 2 entire beds during the volunteer day with United Way and the Austin Community Gardens. In these spaces, we nurture the native asters and other pollinator-friendly plants, echinacea, yarrow and weeded away some mint and garlic, which were then given away.

 One workday our WOOFer team got to work weeding and installing a clean brick path into the hyssop and oak tree mound. The design of these gardens shows thoughtfulness and community planning, and our session has not yet explored the use of the land in democratic ways, only simple maintenance/ stewardship work that contrasts the wild growth vs the stewarded tending and growth. Things must be put in order with a gentle hand, and when there is abundance and knowledge of regrowth, the leftovers can be fed to the goats!

This reminds me to search for remnant stories on how the indigenous would weed and maintain their gardens with regard to waste. We do know they were architects of abundance. That which is intended to decompose is usually more invisible with time, as the transformation of waste materials is so thorough.

On SIMPLE PLEASURES Like Rain.

Getting caught in the rain is enjoyable. (so are pina coladas, but i didn't get any of those) What an abundance falling from the sky! searching for my rain clothing would have gotten in the way, so I was wearing only shorts and a t-shirt when I heard the wind pickup. "What you don't want to do is get the goats running in the alley in the rain". We move the goats from their house pasture to the community garden pasture approximately a block away depending on the weather. I watched the horizon wearily, adrenaline exciting me to be able to run. The winds picked up, gusting through the trees. Big drops threatened to fall all at once, but we had already crossed the street goats in shy pursuit. Ella and I herded them to their usual garage night sanctuary and returned to gather the hay, agreeing that the timing and our decision to sacrifice that and prioritize the goats had been right, as it started really pouring! I felt cleansed and even the strands of hay sticking on me with the moisture of rain soon fell off as rivers of water cascaded from the sky. The coating of a sheen on skin, a barrier of entropy, flowing movement across the body, and an entire realm of encapsulation conducted on my skin. A shower charged with more life than that which comes from the faucet. The wind and unadulterated energy in the storm gave an extreme sensation of abundance. I wish this feeling upon everyone. The goats were saved and happy, and only some hay was lost.

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As part of my qualitative inquiry, I've tried to be observant of socialization in these communities of practice. In this household full of neurodivergence, the manners that help maintain community are about slowing down, making sure understanding is reached. One extra useful tool at this party was the dancing. I have already experienced contra dancing – line dancing’s funnier, more renaissance-like cousin. Ella told us about it and we took a chance and persuaded Andrew to come along too. It was queer, full of happy larks and robins shifting roles, and many generous souls who  have been through the crash course in community that is contra. As described by the Chicago Reader article  “https://chicagoreader.com/city-life/queer-contra-chicago/

Contra dancing:

“You’re dancing with the whole line. That encourages the line to take care of everyone, because if you help other people in the line, it ultimately comes back around for you— we’re all connected.” George, an organizer of chicago’s weekly contra, calls the feeling “mob mentality, but in a good way.” There is a moment, he says, when the sequence settles into your body, your mind stops directing your feet, and you just feel in sync with the music and everyone else in the room.

Alfred Adler, the Viennese psychiatrist who broke with Freud in the early 20th century, called this “mob mentality” —community feeling, or social interest. For Adler, it wasn’t just sentiment but a capacity that had to be practiced and trained into the body the way a musician practices scales. Adler considered community feeling absolutely essential to psychological health, and he defined it as an innate sense of connectedness to humanity—a feeling of belonging, contribution, and solidarity with others. He thought most of our suffering came from its absence. He also thought it could be learned.

These vibes, intentions, and abundance really helped set the stage for the weeks to come.

Making community is about addressing certain values first, safety and basic human needs (food), and then reducing waste and distributing waste. Waste is something that can be combatted with just an extra thought on distribution. Equilibrium is naturally reached when there is a disequilibrium from one side to another, but in our complex human world, we’ve put up so many barriers between the side that has, and the side that doesn’t, that it really requires work and conscious effort to do the work that entropy/ equilibrium would normally do for us. I think that is one reason why the issue of hunger is so upsetting to people, but they often misunderstand the causes and effects of such a problem, because we see excess and waste on one side and very clear disregard for human life on the other. “The universe doesn’t waste a single quark” is a big highlight in the book I picked up from the economy shop. Power vs Force and the human determinants of behaviour.

I wrote notes from the epistemology of this chapter, merging it with my reading of the other books, Braiding Sweetgrass, braiding together my narrative, precious threads of Experience and Praxis, and the theories of Underland and Relativity, and Power Vs. Force.  

Reading thermodynamics while making tacos I had an epiphany on sharing. Do you realize that sharing is a systematic process that reduces people’s work? It takes as much effort to heat up 1 tortilla vs 5 for the rest of the party. In an algorithm of steps we see this clearly: opening the drawer, pulling out the comal, heating it up, opening fridge, serving the bowl where the taco leftovers are placing some into the microwave.  The heat work is minimally increased by adding a bit more to either the platter or the tortilla platter but the end result is less work. Sharing in the labor is also exciting and important. Whereby time spent together with songs and dance, creating things unleashes the meaning of life further than any other times! Sharing a meal, especially one made from scraps that would have otherwise been tossed into dumpsters, makes sharing work extra exciting and intentional. I realize they already know all this. The secrets to happiness have been unlocked, and I’m just another guest at the party, sharing my taco creation.

What if we had a sharing board of our abundance, and asked caringly before taking, whether things felt abundant or scarce, if they weren’t ours, explicitly ours? These are some things my environment encouraged me to think about, and the practice of those around me. From Ella, I've learned about how to ask people to repeat things, ask for what their name is, even a third time, ask for clarification in instructions, favors, and even jokes. You can always notice that Ella has an ear up to those around her and is acutely aware of how others might be feeling in a deeply empathic way, ease to ask and thank. Another thing we have been practicing is offering others the space to be and give, I noticed this in Rachel lingering around the kitchen on occasion with vibes that just resonate “I’m here to help” to be in community. It’s really a struggle to not fall more deeply in love with these people who I will be leaving soon. The expression of these personalities is so full of ease, I feel like the recipe for this community is delicious, and the ingredients will be hard to find elsewhere.

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So what did I learn in Chicago about circular systems?  I went to the Wasteshed, connected with timebank participants and mostly stewarded my own health, and my own sphere of influence in the community home I was living in. I recognized some patterns from similar intentional communities I’ve been involved with, like Concordia Language Villages, and found that in giving and recreating together, people can be inspired to give more, making a circular system of people’s time talents and intentions. I began to see community as circular systems, where when they work well, people are integrated into the magic of recreating, giving back. I am eternally grateful to have been introduced to the concept of WWOOFIng at Concordia language villages too, as the circle of life continues.

Social work time: Every Wednesday and Friday, we contribute to the food distribution network, through trust established  with stakeholders through the years. I documented this in my previous blog post about chicagoLand adventures too.

This year we also had the additional challenge of a homeless lady staying on the porch. As an unofficial hub in the social justice network, the woofing household took it upon ourselves to help find assistance for this 50-year-old black woman, Latoya. She had been staying in the greenhouse throughout winter and was now residing to sleeping in the daytime on the porch and wandering alert for safety at night in the streets.  This was the safest way for her to obtain food for herself via snap benefits, and get her needs met. The discussion about how to best support her without opening the door to unnecessary conflict troubled the household, ultimately we made arrangements for her to make it to the shelter, to receive help, but that night after we told her that we would the next day, she didn’t come back. For some, shelter experiences can be quite disturbing, so they may not be open to going in again and receiving help.

The Wednesday pickup of food on my last week was not complicated too much by the rain, which did fall in flash flood levels. We saved avocados, chickpeas, frozen meals, ready meals and many fruits. We also delivered the excess to another food location after the usual crowd took their favorites. Cakes. Cheeses, oranges, figs, apricots… It all would have been close to waste but the turn of this energy towards the sharing and redistribution allowed so much joy.

We participated in an evening discussion group at a bar called the Pilot-Project, where the Hell Raisers, a Chicago activist group was talking about queer theology, as an affiliation to the church groups. I enjoyed discussing the themes of the scarcity mindset that leads to the adoption of toxic thoughts about others, cascading into Christian nationalism that we are seeing and struggling with on a community level, where increases in this sentiment become policy, and a positive feedback loop to make more CN, where people are comfortable dehumanizing others and oppressing them. In Chicago this is a real issue as posters from anti-ICE organizing groups can be seen throughout the city.

What about peoples' own stories, and what they bring to the table? How do we ask people to bring their full potential? To challenge us to play games at the dinner table instead of scroll? To write a board of ideas, and community plans. To desire to change the narrative. I saw empty boards and as an artist of social entrepreneurship, included people into the magic of creating something. Opportunities for this abound but people have to be willing to sing along. oh the summertime is come, and the trees are softly over wild mountain thyme, all around the blooming heather, will ye go lassie go… We created musical magic together. and I'm so grateful that this community wanted to sing along.

One day we went to the lakeside, and shared in stories of trees and some philosophizing about relationships and the integral connection between spirituality and sexuality, where creating expression and the becoming transformation of potential to kinetic energy in passion and anticipation… Some of these terms were shared between the unspoken reality that our words are always incomplete, but we can share conscious wave thoughts at the same time.

I began adding an annotated bibliography of my summer reading and experiences into my big file of research. Robert McFarlane's Underland is about deep time and mentions the etymological semiotic roots of many words and idioms that imply depth as something to be feared and heights as something celebrated, with stories of death in mines, graves, the feeling of entombment and the heroic tales of rescues of the deep. The weaving of this book with the others Relativity (Einstein) was a valuable experience in perception as I develop my philosophical framework with which to proceed. In one useful analogy, the introduction of mechanical perception whereby a stone being dropped by a train is seen as a single distancing straight line by the dropper, but by a train passerby is an arc trajectory.  The exploration of relativity expands to question the space and path of us all in the ever circling and thriving universe. We discussed a phenomena like this with the squirel on a tree metaphor.  (Cite) I think our path in life is both curve and wave, and ascertaining others perspectives, the acknowledgement of BOTH AND is where the magic is.

On one lovely evening when I painted at the dinner table after sharing, we talked philosophy and coloring and musical theatre interpretations, and the making of pride stick batons for a queer church club breakfast. The vibes were flawless and the company effortful but easy. Everyone intended for community, fellowship and gathering, discussing that philosophy comes from experience as youth, living ethnographically. I observe through reflective/reflection that these experiences propel into more, in seeking more and more company, because it is ease and comfort and community. Thus the day after we also participated in fellowship and joy. We watched the Frozen 2 movie and shared about joy , with pizza and The Last Of Us. The day after was a fun half workday where we weeded a bit more and did the goat basics in preparation for stormy weather, and even some huddling in the basement for a storm watch.

A great honor in our world is when work is made visible and acknowledged and appreciated. “ I appreciate that you are always highlighting the abundance and intentionally crafting this in  relationships”  Ella told me. Ella does an exceptional job and unearthing these and bringing them to light (language from the Underland). I intend to take this lesson from Ella forward and pay respect to those that do unseen work.

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Upon returning to my community in El Paso I’ve seen abundance, as this lens of appreciation and resilience have stuck with me. I also admit to have had some health challenges with the heat (story in another finally unearthed blog post about fibromyalgia https://lumiferz.wixsite.com/fernanda-lugo/post/my-fibromyalgia-framework ). I’ve felt the contrast in how my life has been, and yet I feel that I am in the right place, that it is opportune to put my energy here- I feel appreciated with my friends and community and although I’ll continue encountering systems that don’t work as ideally as they should I have the internal toolset to be ok with that which I cannot change, and the bravery and empowerment to try and change that which I can. After seeing the value of spreading my intention and opinion on community and circularity in these other spaces, I can continue weaving here.

References:

https://chicagoreader.com/city-life/queer-contra-chicago/